Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
