I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
