she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
