Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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