I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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