i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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