it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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