I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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