Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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