I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
