Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
