so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We need to get me chipped asap
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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