I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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