what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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