i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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