No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
