when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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