He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Duck Duck Cougar?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
