is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My feet surprised me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
