I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
