he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
