I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
