he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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