You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
