Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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