I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
