it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize