He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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