The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
