I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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