I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
