ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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