"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
