Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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