we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
