I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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