he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
