hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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