hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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