Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
