Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
