I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she smelled like a LAN party
this will be a night to untag.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
