I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
