we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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