Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
