this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
