How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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