Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize