i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
