Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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