I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
