I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
