Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
