just tell him i said nine months
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
