What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
