is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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