Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So vagazzling was a success
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
