she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
