apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
